Washing Days

I woke up this morning with a song in my head. It's a gospel song my church sings a lot. It really only consists of about one phrase, which is repeated over and over again. It's so simple, but so penetrating. The song simply states:

My storage is empty, and I am available to you.

Something about myself you may not know? I like to create medleys in my head. Well, this morning, the medley I've created has been with this song and with another song we always sing at my church. Once again, this song's pretty simple, but so penetrating. It simply says:

Increase my capacity for You.

This past month has been a breaking month for me. God has been working like mad--tearing down walls, burning bridges--completely breaking me. And I feel broken. The past couple days, I've felt so worthless and broken. But I believe that I woke up today with these songs in my head and heart for a reason. I feel broken because my storage is empty. God has exposed so much of the garbage and secrets I've been hiding, and s/he's taken those away from me. They're not mine anymore. I actually feel like my storehouse has been emptied. Of everything. of me, my secrets, my pride. everything. But I know I'm in a healing place now, and I need God to increase my capacity for her/him so I can be filled with that. While I felt broken about that yesterday, I feel excited and encouraged today, because I know that being broken and ultimately emptied helps place me in a position to be filled and used by God.

That's why God made it rain today. Today is a cleansing day, a washing day. Today is a day of purification. I need God so much to cover me, fill me; and I feel him/her raining down on me, soaking my skin, and washing me. And so, this medley is my prayer today--my prayer for myself, and my prayer for those in my life right now: God, increase my capacity for you; my storage is empty, and I am available to you.