Remembering the Semester, Anticipating the Summer

Haha, that last post looks so dramatic now. It was for real at the time, though. I now want to write about some of the ways God has answered that prayer...

This past semester, I've gotten involved in a youth group that I met on a Focus trip last semester (Zoar Baptist). At the beginning of the semester, I went and helped out with the occasional Bible study, mainly going when I could find the time and when I didn't have a lot of work. Towards the end of the semester, I was going every Sunday night and every Wednesday night. I also hung out with any of the youth that wanted to hang out with me, anything from disc golf to tennis to hide-and-seek tag in Walmart (is that bad?). It's amounted to me hanging out with high schoolers during like 80% of my free time.

And life's never been so good.

First of all, it's amazing how much a bunch of high school guys can teach you about God. I would hope that each of the youth would say something about me being a witness for Christ and a Godly influence in their lives. I would hope that each of the youth would say something about me showing them a bigger picture of God's Grace and Love relentlessly fighting for them. I would hope that each of the youth would say something about me leading them to a deeper relationship with God. But the truth of the matter? They do that for me. Screw accountability partners. You want to be held accountable in speech, action, lifestyle? Find some people younger than you, people you'd give your life for. I'd do anything to see those youth get closer to God. And to think that maybe, maybe, just one of those youth looks up to me? Well, that's enough to keep me accountable.

In so many ways, by getting to know both the youth and some of their families, I've found my own families away from home while at Gardner-Webb. That's really taught me about God's Love. For sure. I love it when a parent says or writes something. Those moments are worth a world of encouragement, and God has really used them to minister to me. But overall, the most encouraging and inspiring moments I've had have been the result of words from these guys, often in the form of a random text or facebook message. Here are a few:

~keith can i ask u a favor? i always forget to read my bible will u hold me accountible and remind me? and if i have questions can i call u and talk about them? i reall ywanna get in the habit of doin this like we talked about in church
~alright im not finished yet but i read the first chapter of james im goin to read some more tommorrow and im praying for you
~i love you bro!!! thank u for everything
~keith andres menhinick im gonna miss you so much over the summer but i hope you have fun in costa rica and spread the love of christ around there you have definetly opened my eyes and showed how much love can make a difference but i cant wait until next week i love you man!!

I do not deserve this.

God has completely and totally expanded my worldview by focusing it on these youth. I see a bigger picture of myself and of life and of relationship, but what I've awakened to most is a bigger picture of God's Love. I would literally die for any one of those kids right now. Just for one of them to have another chance or a better opportunity I'd give everything. I find that when I'm alone, all I want to do is pray for them. These youth motivate me to change, to live differently, to be someone worth following. Maybe it's needless to say, but I've become attached to these kids, and I love them like crazy. I will miss them all so much this summer.

This summer... another crazy way God has answered my prayer. This Monday morning, I'm flying to Costa Rica. Last summer, I spent about a month there with the school to study Spanish, and I fell in love with the country. Now, I have the opportunity to go back with one of my bestest friends ever, Rosalee Johnson!, and work with some missionaries down there, spreading the Love of Christ (see youth message above). I might even get to help with music worship while I'm there. Spanish, missions, music, Rosalee...really God?

I do not deserve this.

I guess the point of all this is to say that God answers prayers. I wanted God to really use me for something worthwhile in life, something that will last, and now I feel used and see evidence of God's working in my life. I wanted an opportunity to leave America, apply my Spanish, and immerse myself in missions, and now I'm packing my bags to go. We serve an Awesome God, one who hears and answers prayer. God had to take me through a lot and take a lot away from me to get me here, but the place where I am with God right now is immeasurably better than any place I ever imagined.

And I know that the best I can imagine for the future is way less than what God's wanting to do.

A Birthday Prayer

Ephesians 3:20-21

"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all we can ask or think, according to the power that works in us, unto God be all glory in the church and in Christ Jesus unto all generations for ever and ever"

Every once in a while, I'll write something down on paper because I feel like it's too intense or too emotional or too personal for the blog. Today, I was reading back through some of those writings, and I found a prayer that I had written while in a lot of anguish. I know, "anguish" is quite a dramatic word, but that's the place where I was. Long story short, God's answering my prayer in BIG ways. It is kind of intense so I'll only post an excerpt and edit some of it, but I wanted to post what I had written because God has answered this prayer far beyond what I even imagined, and so I pray it be a testimony to where God takes us when we cry out to Him/Her.

Bleeding into our Art

"When a theologian comes to visit [sculptor Harriet March] at her studio and he has all sorts of polished and complicated ides about God and suffering and life, Harriet explains to him how she sees the world through her work.

'But no matter how much the mess and distortion make you want to despair, you can't abandon the work because you're chained to the bloody thing, it's absolutely woven into your soul and you know you can never rest until you've brought truth out of all the distortion and beauty out of all the mess- but it's agony, agony, agony- while simultaneously being the most wonderful and rewarding experience in the world - and that's the creative process which so few people understand.

'It involves an indestructible sort of fidelity, an insane sort of hope and indescribable sort of....well, it's love, isn't it?  There's no other word for it...And don't throw Mozart at me...I know he claimed his creative process was no more than a form of automatic writing, but the truth was he sweated and slaved and died young giving birth to all that music.  He poured himself out and suffered.  That's the way it is.  That's creation......You cannot create without waste and mess and sheer undiluted slog.  You can't create without pain. It's all part of the process.   It's in the nature of things.

'So in the end every major disaster, every tiny error, every wrong turning, every fragment of discarded clay, all the blood, sweet and tears- everything has meaning.  I give it meaning.  I reuse, reshape, recast all that goes wrong so that in the end nothing is wasted and nothing is without significance and nothing ceases to be precious to me.'


"Is she talking about sculpture or life?"
(Drops Like Rain by Rob Bell)

Traditional Theology: Moving on to the Next Kid on the Bench

A theology I heard a lot growing up in the church goes something like this:  If I choose not to obey God's prompting, I miss an opportunity, sin even. However, if God wants something done, it will happen. God isn't dependent on my obedience, and He'll find someone else to do it.

Disagree. It's a nice idea--that God doesn't need us and that ultimately God's will is accomplished, that if I don't do something for God it ultimately doesn't matter because God will find someone else to do it. It really is a nice, reassuring idea about the control and Sovereignty of God. I just don't think it's right.

I know everyone quotes Ephesians 2:10, but there may be a crucial truth here--"We are God's workmanship/masterpieces, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which he prepared in advance for us to do." Maybe we really were created for specific good works.

Maybe God created Keith to do certain things in this world, to reach certain people, to speak certain truths about the unique aspect of God that he sees best. And maybe God created you for something specific, for something no one else can do quite like you can. Maybe you can see and love a side of God that I can't, not in the same way. And maybe you can do things in this world that I can't do, and maybe you can reach people in this world that I can't reach. Maybe that's why God created individuals.

Maybe if I don't do the works God's created me to do, God won't give someone else my load and have them carry the slack. Maybe there really is something specific that God's created me to do, and if I don't do it, it won't get done.

Former President Dwight Eisenhower, commenting on his Presidency and life, attributes all of his success to  the message that his parents instilled in him: "The world could be fixed of its problems if every child understood the necessity of their existence."

Maybe there's a necessity for you. Maybe God made you just the way you are, placed you in certain situations for a reason. Maybe God does have a purpose for your life, a work created in advance for you to do, a work that won't get done if you don't do it. A work that can only be fulfilled by one person--you.

Retort to "Does God Have a Specific Plan For Your Life? Probably Not."

I don't know so much that I disagree with Donald Miller in his post. As far as my personal theology goes, I don't really know where I stand. What I don't like is the effect that I see his post having. If you want something really interesting to read, check out the comments people have left to his post. It's much more entertaining than the post itself. Depressing, though.

My summary of Don's post: God may or may not have a plan for your life; some of us are simply given a blank canvas and told to "Draw baby draw!" Okay. Theologically, I see this issue boiling down to a choice. Obviously, there's no right answer. What I mean is that I can look at life and scripture the way he did, or I can choose to look at life and scripture from another perspective. Each can yield a number of different theologies, each being just as easy to justify. I can argue and debate and defend in circles my whole life. I guess what I'm getting at is that eventually I choose either to accept this set of evidences or that set of evidences. So, maybe it may be more important to consider how a theology affects people. (This isn't one of those truth-is-relative-so-choose-what-makes-you-feel-best kind of messages, I promise)

Looking at the comments people left on Don's wall showed me a lot. Some people said, "Why is that such a HUGE relief to me?" I can see someone reading Don's post, someone that doesn't feel any strong pulls in this direction or that direction or any direction, and this theology bringing freedom, "relief" as that person said. For a lot of people, it probably takes the pressure off of life and decisions, gives people space to really live. Instead of thinking she has to wait around to hear God's divine voice saying "DO THIS," she can just live and trust that God'll be there. A theology like this can be very freeing.

Then there are comments like this one: "As a non-believer, I find the musings of believers regarding the true nature of god to be as relevant and substantial as the daily horoscope in your newspaper." This comment strikes me as very interesting. This self-classified "non-believer" clearly spent time reading Don's blogs and others' responses and then writing his own very eloquent rebuttal. His whole point was that the entire conversation regarding God's purpose for our lives was meaningless and a waste of everyone's time. And yet he's engaging in this very conversation, reading this blog. I don't know. Seems to me like he's searching for something...

And of course, the comment we've been anticipating, including reference to the world's most overly quoted scripture: "When I read Jeremiah 29:11-12 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'–I don’t read that as a benign generalization. I believe my God is an intensely personal God, a father who is very interested in my day to day existence." I completely understand what this person is saying. Taking scripture out of context aside, this person clearly finds hope in a theology that values her. Her understanding of God--a God that has a defined plan for her life--gives her purpose. It gives her a net beneath her tightrope decisions. I see her as someone that needs something to cling to, something to give her a reason for life, to give her hope. For her, to really buy into a theology like the one Don sells is detrimental because it takes away that safety net. It robs her of her source for purpose, for meaning, and for hope. A theology like Don's can end up yielding a response like this one, left by another person on the discussion board: "If there is no plan, then why bother."

So back to the question: Does God have a purpose for my life? or am I free to paint my own portrait of life? I find this whole discussion extremely fascinating. However, I can continue to theorize, rationalize, philosophize...to expound on my theories...to take scripture from here and from there...to analyze these and those testimonies...to read what the big people say, the people with more knowledge and expressive eloquence than me...to speculate, and postulate, and estimate, and predicate...

or

I can look deep inside of myself and realize that ultimately I'm searching for something. Whether we promote this theology, that belief, this conviction, that interpretation, we're all searching for something, something to give meaning to our existence.